questions on my mind

when will i have the opportunity to see your smile in person?will the wind carry the kisses that blew every night to kiss you good night?
these questions kept playing on my mind..

in life we unconsciously play a waiting game..a charade where we keep on dancing and hoping that when we stop there's someone out there waiting to open there arms for us,willing to catch us when we stop and fall.
the question is are we ready to stop and find that like the game there might be noone there to catch us?but like in any other game we hope...we play ...we learn and we try again.

while these questions kept me wide awake i often picture the ONE waiting for me as i also wait for her.will the two of us ever meet?will the moment pass me by?with the unending questions played on my mind i quietly slept waiting for answers....

on the road to sanity

have you ever been lost in your entire life?lost and still finding ways to unravel the mysteries or the mistaken turns that you took on the previous crossroads that you've been?I for one is lost on this journey,i kept on undoing the mistakes of my past and yet here i am still on the verge of falling apart...but as soon as i realize it.reality keeps me in check.how can you undo a mistake?how can you turn a new leaf?a new lease of life?i always try to keep a happy face facing each morning with smiles and new hope. But the gloomy past is thrown at me with full brute force by one man.
"you will be poor when i'm gone...."said the man."you are nothing..who will help you?them?they left you out on that dark road alone and with nothing but spare clothes and change.I tell you boy,you will die in poverty."

so as my mornings continue to arrive i will forever be chained in this life of routine litany of discouragement and orders to shape up.shape up?its true,that until know i don't have a shelter of my own..no food to provide for myself.who's fault is it?its all mine and im not blaming anyone except myself.

but how can i start anew when you im constantly reminded of the mistakes that ive done?will history be drilled into your head whenever you are about to start anew?
"you are not a good person.stop pretending that you are nice and good.you are bad to the core.don't preach and stop that holier than thou crap.you will never change.you are lazy and dumb.are nothing."these thoughts from the man's sermon kept me on alert.

so how will i start?will there be new mornings?or is hoping futile and therefore i shall bury the internal sunshine of my soul?
tell me how...tell me what....tell me now.